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  • Greek retail woes part 2 – chains and balls

    Let’s say you want to plan an in store activity for a tech product.  “We have thirty stores all over Greece!” beams the person you are talking with.  Here are a few questions to ask before setting out your promotional strategy.

    1. What is the percentage of traffic of your top 2 stores relative to the rest?  Case in point, a well known chain with more than 40 stores.  The first one had 160 thousand visitors last month.    The next four had just over 50 thousand.  And all the rest had …well…very few.    Unless you want to waste money having people trek all around this beautiful country for nothing, decide where to focus.
    2. Which stores are almost dead?  In the above (real) example, almost half the stores had less than 25 thousand visitors in a month.  They are neighborhood affairs, sometimes not even fully owned by the chain, often family run or with some other story.  They might make their money on computer repairs, selling business software or anything else but what you want them to promote.   A long history of failed promotions can be told by old merchandizing kit in their stores…
    3. How accurate are your footfall figures?  Many stores have multiple entrances.  Even a keen statistician would have trouble calculating what the actual traffic was from their numbers.  Other stores have cafes, restaurants, bookshops or tickets within.  Is that the kind of traffic you want for your product?
    4. What time of day is the action?  This is very complex.  Not just about looking at the data.  Greeks have their own rhythm.  They might window shop some times of day and have the time and inclination to speak to a merchandizer but simply go in to buy supplies quickly at other times.  We have our own holidays and dates which are best to focus on.
    5. Which salespeople are the ones to influence?  Even in these times of multinationals and international (style) marketing, Greek stores often operate in a pretty old fashioned way.  There is often a person who is the gatekeeper for the store to really promote a product.  Often not even on the store floor, this might be the manager (in a smaller store) or the experienced salesperson or the person considered the purchasing expert.

    Everyone in Greece has become much better at pretending they are all business when it comes to in store promotions.  They talk the talk and look good on PowerPoint.  But way too often they operate in an old fashioned, conservative and protectionist way.  Your promoters might be shoved to a corner which looks good on paper but doesn’t work, with little help in rush hour and no real support in order to make sales or change people’s opinions of your products.

    Start asking these sort of questions though and you might gain enough respect to get your job done.

  • Don’t waste good money on Greek retail – part 1, the stats

    From afar, it probably seems like a mystery.  Greece has no money.  So why are so many tech items still selling well?  It isn’t easy to get a handle on the market as it feels pretty third worldly most of the time.

    For starters you need to recognize that there aren’t very good stats for most things.  I can cite several phone calls received from influential trade magazines looking for numbers.  They pretty much take whatever you feed them and have few reference points to know if you are making it up or not.  Often the results are ludicrous.   And they dress it up in wishy washy language or vague charts rather than admitting that “based on brief chats with two people I got on the phone from Greece….”

    Others try and make assumptions or extrapolations based on official figures or trade associations’ statistics.  The former are very sketchy as we have parallel imports galore and many other factors distorting the numbers.  Trade associations in Greece are generally weak, not very active and not very high tech or online.  If you do get any numbers they will probably be out of date and refer only to a few larger companies.  Government agencies are even worse.

    Greeks are generally secretive and don’t give away business information.  To make things worse often the IT infrastructure is spread over many different databases and software.  Many systems might not be online, relying on import/export procedures of various sorts.  So it’s not just that they don’t want to give anyone good figures about their sales;  it’s that even they don’t really know what is going on in their sales!

    A good example is store traffic data.  This is absolutely essential for planning any retail promotion and guess what?  Almost no Greek company has decent figures.  Most now have some sort of technology installed to monitor visitor numbers but they are plagued with distortions.  Some stores have multiple entrances and exits making it hard to calculate, others have cafe or restaurants within their premises making it impossible to know how many people shopped and how many just ate and left.  Sure, over time, these glitches should straighten out and give a more complete picture; if you combine them with that other data.  Which you don’t have!

    So all these fancy promotion ideas you have, well, just bear in mind that you need a rather big pinch of salt in order to implement them.  Get a feel first hand before you OK any spending. A major problem is that most “chains of stores” that Greek tech retailers say they have are in fact rather unbalanced affairs.  But more on that in part 2…

     

  • Bubble boy. Without a DogTooth

    A baby is born with no immunity.  His mother is overprotective and literally tries to keep him in a bubble for his entire life.   Sounds like an arty farty foreign film…actually that was “Dogtooth”, a Greek Oscar awarded film, copied in turn from another similar film.   Overprotective parents and the sick extents to which they go some times is a familiar theme.

    388cad74c2839a0b1f500d82be9451a3Except this one is all the fun without the dark, sinister obscure references. Other than the basic premise, which it doesn’t dwell on much, it is straightforward family fun and action.   OK, weird at times.  Boy in the bubble falls in love and the rest is just one big crazy series of entertaining events.  Nothing to disturb or worry anyone, plenty grown up jokes included in between the gags for the kids; everyone has fun.

    Come to think of it, why bother making a dark, grown up version?  This was much happier and if anyone wants to think about overbearing parents, they can do it afterwards on their own time, can’t they?

     

    5/10 if you’re a film critic (or lower), 7/10 for most families looking to laugh for an hour or so.

     

  • Stealth – when Top Gun met A.I.

    There have been many movies about Artificial Intelligence lately.  Most of them pretty good actually, generally quite thought provoking.  Especially for those of us who regularly talk to our phones and rely on cloud services for daily stuff.  Close to home as they say.  But none of them were fun.

    P-40:
    In the good old days, if you wanted character in a plane, you painted a mouth on it!

    So here are three hitech warplanes who get a new team-mate.  An all singing, all dancing, all watching and listening plane that learns on its own.  If you know very little about drones, you might think it is somehow close to reality.  If you know anything about military protocol you will not.  But that isn’t the point.

    The First World War was the first time air warfare had played a role in combat and this picture of French warplane, Caudron G3, was captured by a photographer in 1914: Everyone says “Top Gun” when you speak about plane movies, but by the end, this is more like “ET” meeting the “Iron Eagle” trilogy.    Epic stuff.   People smile at the right time, salute, explode and laugh just when they should be.  Well made movie.  For its kind.  As long as you don’t try and relate anything you see to anything in the real world, geography, politics or technology.   They even threw some romance in for good measure.

    This is not for everyone.  If I wasn’t in the right mood, it wouldn’t even be for me.

  • Bridge of Spies. I wish Spielberg was Greek!

    When “Schindler’s list” first came out I lived in London.  I was meeting a good friend and major movie buff that day.  Over the years together, we had watched all sorts of Iranian, Afghan, Icelandic or alternative South Pole native penguin films.  I had even enjoyed some of them.  He is as far from Hollywood movie wise as you can put someone.  But he must have heard something good about it from someone he trusts more than me, so he graciously came along.

    Use this FREE printable decoder wheel to send & receive secret messages without anyone being the wiser. A great resource for teachers and homeschoolers for spelling practice, math, writing activities, word work, etc. Also makes a wonderful addition to spy theme parties.: At the end of the movie he had to admit it was pretty good.  Or “not as bad as I expected it” in his words.    Since then Spielberg has moved on a lot.  In fact I credit this entire genre to him.  “Didactic movies which are made with enormous attention to detail and a ridiculous amount of research but are actually watchable and entertaining too while standing on their own as films too.”   Since “Saving Private Ryan” it has become a trend.  “Band of Brothers” or the Pacific adventures of the US army in WW2 on TV were simply mind blowing in the amount of work involved.  I wish we had Greek film directors as able in “good” propaganda like this.  From Byzantium to more recent history, we need the good Press urgently!

    Movies with a message can get pretty tiring.  These weren’t.  OK, some of them overdid the appeal to emotions, flags, flashbacks and old men standing in front of graves.  (All of which worked with me by the way, I cried like a baby through most of all that!)  Often American propaganda films are just too heavy handed.  Spielberg though, has it all figured out.  He doesn’t need to whore himself or the cast in the pre-film publicity.  Bridge of Spies is not only the great director back in form, but the whole PR machine being sensitive about it too.

    Ah, and the film.  Instantly attention grabbing shots, great character material.  Even if you don’t get caught in the plot you have to admire the technical aspects.  As the story unfolds you figure it out:  the Cold War is still relevant.  From Gitmo to Putin, these issues are still very much alive and important.   Not a fan of Tom Hanks,  but luckily the great director doesn’t let him “do a Tom Hanks” all over his scenes.  Most of it is keen, sharp and to the point.

    I clicked on the “Date” category because I assume that for some couples this is “heavy” and “serious”.  In any case, if you don’t know much about this era, it would give you something to talk about over dinner.  Which is precisely why I give it 7 out of 10 (if you haven’t got a clue) or 6 out of 10 for the rest of us.  All those hours with Alex watching arty farty movies allows me a certain amount of snobbery, eh?

     

     

  • Burnt – Rocky does cookery for kids

    These lessons from star chef Thomas Keller include how to butcher a rabbit and tips for saving freezer space.:
    No, this isn’t the sexy guy from the movie

    This is not meant to be a movie for kids.  Nice looking guy, romance, cookery….it is datenight material.  Our hero is a genius fighting ghosts from the past.  But he does it in such an easy way, nobody gets worried.  Kids can watch this, no problem.

    If nothing else, it is a great antidrug advert.  Kids, don’t take drugs because bad people will chase you for money, you ruin your life and it is generally a big dark cloud.  No needles, no mess shown.  Quite the opposite.  For someone who hasn’t really thought about cooking as a job, this is a great introduction.

    5 Knives Chefs Can't Live Without on Food & Wine -- 4 out of 5 are Japanese. I better stock up while I am here.:
    “But Daddy, why on earth are knives so important?”

    My eldest is twelve years old now, time to start thinking about careers.   Well if he wants to be a chef, this is one way to start getting excited about it.  The importance of teamwork, good ingredients, hard work, presentation and many other facets of the job.  Sure, they are glossed over in a very female-audience-friendly way, but it still works.

    You never really worry too much that he won’t make it but this is a watchable 5 or 6 out of 10.

  • Bulletproof monk – great job of a mediocre idea

    It is pretty hard to take a film seriously when it starts with two monks sparing on a bridge and flying around.  That whole karate/flying/Chinese wire trick…really…why?  But “Bulletproof monk” pulls it off well.  For starters, it is the first movie with an explanation of how to walk on air.  But mainly the two lead roles are likeable and drive the story forward all the time.

    What’s the Meaning of Karate’s Different Belt Colors? (The Answer Will Blow Your Mind) | KARATEbyJesse: The old guy from Tibet is neither Jackie Chan, nor some martial arts guru.  More like a regular guy you might want as a neighbour.  The young guy is a New York pick pocket, smart kid but not falling into any easy pidgeon holes either.  None of those overdone slow motion stylistic shows action movies on a budget often fall for.  If our hero needs to take out ten bad guys, OK, he does some fancy stuff, but he gets on with it.

    Can I get this? Thanks.: Plot is the normal thing.  We all have to protect some ancient scroll with the secret to ultimate power.  Twist is that some Nazi has been chasing it since the second World War.  Yeah, we have heard that before too.  But it really doesn’t matter, the take is fresh.  My kids watched it straight after the Spiderwick Chronicles, same story, protecting a book from evil, but they didn’t mind at all.

    The girl in the film is interesting too.  While Star Wars fans pine and groan about Rey not getting her own doll, the female lead in this film is cool, sexy, sweet, tough, able and with a nice twist at the end does real equality sort of stuff.   In all, a great cast guided by an obviously good team, makes a great job of a mediocre idea.

     

    Family entertainment value, 5 or 6 out of 10

  • Will this idea work?

     

     

    Some time ago I sat in a school committee meeting.  As usual they were wasting time talking too much.  For about half an hour they were discussing what to do about the graffiti on the wall.  I calculated that in that time we could have actually painted it over at least twice.   By doing we would have solved the problem we were thinking about.  It wasn’t about consensus, it was just that everybody was playing with “what if” scenarios instead of “just do it” solutions.

    I have done the same in big business meetings though too.  All too often you come out of a meeting with an idea.  The problem is that the idea that seems better has no data to back it up.  There is no way to differentiate between ideas when they are just blah blah over coffee and stale biscuits at a Monday morning meeting.  That to me seems like a big waste.  If I have spent an hour getting excited about an idea, why leave it to die?

    Business is essentially a series of experiments.  Every day you look for “solutions”.  Which means that essentially you are testing a hypothesis.  “Here is a situation we need to change.  Will this work?”   www.willthiswork.org is something I just started to help you with that.  How to test ideas quickly, cheaply and with little or no risk.  (Depends how you do it and what “it” is.)  I come out of that meeting and start the project.  That simple.

    Anyone who has commissioned a panel knows how frustrating it is.  8 or 10 people carefully selected and coordinated by specialists end up giving you pretty bad data.  You have no idea how accurate or useful it is really.  And it is way too expensive.  Instead of talking about “social media”, I think of them as cheap experiments.  There are ready made tools and keen audiences wanting to partake in your tests.  At worse you get a lot of feedback, maybe some new ideas.  At best you have launched the idea in a spectacular way and proved it works.

    It is pretty addictive.  Having done it thousands of times I have remnants of old ideas all over the place.  That product launch page which is still counting down to a launch that never happened.  That other site which just republished content but got us more than twenty thousand unique hits and saved the day with the search data it provided.  The other software idea which seemed fantastic but a month down the line seemed less fantastic as it would cost way too much.  Some of these ideas didn’t even wait until the meeting ended.  I have automated the procedure so much now, I can launch an idea website within five minutes of thinking of the idea.

    It’s not always that simple.  So www.willthiswork.org has just started from phase one, all rough and ugly right now as it is going slowly so I can explain some of the challenges at every step.  Try it out.  Just do it.

     

     

  • Nick Cave dies of an overdose

    The first time I saw Nick Cave live it was in a grungy basement club.  He was either too stoned or not stoned enough.  In any case the man showed very limited connection to anything happening around him.  Like for example the songs being played.  Truth be told it is amazing he recovered from that state back in 1980something when I saw him, even more so that he became a success.   And I am really really happy I have never listened to him since.

    I forced myself to listen to the entire album.  “Skeleton Tree” does not put me in a good mood.  Nick Cave reminds of a friend at high school who always wore way too smart clothes and insisted on painting only with black ink.  He refused to do anything normal.  If he painted something that looked recognizable he would mess it up.  If he said something approaching what you expected, he added something irrelevant.  This album is exactly that.  Cave drones like the failed poet that he is.  If you like Leonard Cohen you will love this.  He recites his prose and makes sure it doesn’t really rhyme or even fit in the rhythm.  As soon as it starts sounding normal he goes off on a tangent.  If we didn’t know better, we would assumed he is stoned silly.

    The real problem with this album is the music.  Or more specifically the completely boring background tracks to Cave’s rants.  Perhaps the only half decent attempt where he bothers to try and fit with what the rest of the band is doing is this:

    On a good day you will listen to that entire track and even half like it.  But the rest of the album is much much worse.  And on tracks like “Distant Sky” it is well, truly pathetic.  The man can’t decide if he is a devout Christian, a lost soul or a fanatic atheist.  The music is even worse in lack of positioning.    The choir and female backing tracks make your local school kids singing seem awesome.

    That friend of mine from school is now a famous composer and doing really well for himself.  Personally I find his music banal and generally ripped off from others.  But hey, like Nick Cave, he is a success and the women love him.  Just goes to show.   Some girls will go crazy about this verse or the other in the album, fans will look for references and try to figure out whether the supermarket he mentions is Heaven or just the local 7/11.    Nick Cave is not a “rock legend” as some describe him.  He is a second rate musician, a third rate poet and a terrible songwriter.  If you like the words . ask him to do performance art at some cultural event, accompanied by a tuna, a trombone and a tit.  He has no place on a CD or near a band.  It almost makes me wish that night in 1980something in the basement Nick Cave had decided to just give up.

  • Socrates on Greek debt

    “Crito, we owe a cock to Asclepius; pay it and do not forget.”  The last words of the famous philosopher have been much discussed.  Maybe he foresaw the Greek debt situation!  Nietzsche of course turned it to metaphorically mean death.   Others say it was Plato who was ill and recovering, Socrates heard of this and wanted to thank the God.    Or maybe he had already started having dellusions due to the hemlock and remembered an old debt.

    But most take it literally.  Socrates, having eloquently stated his case in court, with cynical dryness and panache mentioned an actual debt to tidy over before he died.