Alexander Chalkidis

Category: ART

  • Public Letter to Mr Joan Cheese of the Montipaithonz

    Public Letter to Mr Joan Cheese of the Montipaithonz

    That is not a spelling mistake in the title. That is very likely how the Greek Prime Minister might refer to you. Much like when you were eight years old at Peter’s Preparatory School, Weston-super-Mare, at your first public appearance you will wonder how he might have known that your family surname had once been Cheese. But no, it is simply that he is a total and absolute idiot. And it isn’t even funny.

    Your public appearance this year in Greece cannot be a coincidence. Please don’t die before September. We need you. When this government first appeared, it was Monty Python sketches that saved our sanity. As they demanded we leave the European Union we watched “what have the Romans ever done for us?” Again and again. Pretending it couldn’t be real, that they couldn’t be serious. You often say that slapping people with fish was so funny because it was silly. But that would involve a person of intellect actually knowing it is silly. Our government can’t tell the difference. We are living in a hotel run by Manuel and prime minister who doesn’t even ask “¿Qué?” as he is heavily sedated by drugs in order not to have public breakdowns.

    It cannot be a coincidence that you announced you are leaving Britain forever just at the time that most sane Greeks with an IQ above 3 also gave up on their country. It has become a natural filter of sorts. Anyone that can leave, leaves. What remains is a nation of Archie Leaches seduced by Wanda our magic prime minister, caught with our knickers down and suspenders, hapless and hopeless. You stole a three inch submarine and we live in a country where only one crooked politician went briefly to jail for commissioning a crooked real submarine and pocketing a few million for his troubles.

    Before your first TV appearance, at that studio at Shepherd’s Bush you write that you wanted to have a heart attack. Here in Greece we often wish for such a swift death “to have a nice quick heart attack and be done with it all”. But we didn’t. And you didn’t.

    I am not even sure that it would help at all if you organized a Secret Policeman’s Ball or put all your wits in the service of helping Greeks understand the utter stupidity of our political situation. When you first attended group therapy with Robin Skynner and his wife Prue you said it that “it made most film and TV drama seem pale, artificial and unconvincing by comparison.” Well welcome to Greece John, you are about to push it up a notch!

  • Plagiarism detection tricks

    Heraclides amazingly proposed (back then) that earth has a 24 hour cycle of revolution on its axis.  However  he wasn’t as perceptive in other matters:

    “Dionysios had written a tragedy which he called Parthenopaeus.  As a practical joke, he put Sophocles as the author when it was written .   When Heraclides quoted as if it really was by Sophocles in one of his works.  Then Dionysius told him it was a joke but of course Heraclides didn’t believe him at all.  Then Dionysius told to look at at thethe opening eight lines.  The first letter spelled the name of his lover, Pancalus.  Then Heraclides said that this may have been coincidence.

    Then Dionysius told him that he could also find an acrostic which said “Old monkeys do not fall into traps.  Well, they do in fact but it takes a long time.”  He had also hidden in the manuscript as an acrostic the phrase “Heraclides is not ashamed that he doesn’t understand writing.”

    Lives of the Philosophers – Diogenes Laertius

     

     

  • Make books, not war

    When Athens was captured by barbarians, all the books were gathered from the city in one place so they could be burnt.   But one of the barbarians changed the minds of his fellows by saying that it would be best if the Athenians read all day as they liked, so they didn’t fight.  It would be easier in this way to hold the city.

    Zonaras

     

  • How long does a dramatist have to wait?

    Sophocles career started with a victory from his first play.  But Euripides started competing but didn’t win first prize until the 14 year of efforts.  Aeschylus had to wait even longer, he wrote plays for 15 years before finally winning!

  • Tragedy saves lives

    After the disastrous events in Sicily, many Athenians were saved thanks to Euripides.  The Greeks that lived far from Athens yearned for his poetry.  Sicilians were no exception.  Even a small sample of his poetry recited by a traveler pleased them a lot.  They memorised it and passed it on with great pleasure.  Many of the people on the failed expedition to Sicily embraced Euripides on their return with much affection.  They told him that they had been released from slavery because they taught the people that had them everything they could of Euripides’ poetry.  Some had even been given drink or food after the battle as they wandered around simply for singing a choral passage from one of his plays.

    Life of Nicias – Plutarch